When I went home, I kept thinking about this incident and it occurred to me that this is a pretty strange thing that people who have just met tend to do: they tend to ask banal questions without thinking of why they are asking them. I mean why am I supposed to be an expert on good Korean restaurants? Technically, I do not have much more knowledge about the intricacies of Korean cuisine than the average patron diner. I know I like kimchi, Japchae and Korean BBQ chicken, but since I don't eat beef, I know I am missing out on a lot of Korean dishes. But, I wasn't about to get into that with someone I just met. I just let her assume what she was comfortable assuming. It's less complicated that way.
This afternoon I was still bothered by this encounter and while I was talking to my friend about it, I had a revolution. Well, it was more of a question...more of a curiosity. Why doesn't this type of thing happen to Caucasian people? I've never heard about anyone asking a Caucasian person within the first 5 minutes of meeting, "Where's the best burger joint around here?" Maybe I'm wrong, but I've never heard of that happening. I certainly have never asked that of anyone. I mean, honestly, since I grew up in Southern California eating Mexican food almost every day, I feel more comfortable offering a recommendation for Mexican food and where to find the best taquerias than I do about recommending a good Korean restaurant.
In the back of my head, I keep thinking to myself that I should try a social experiment and ask the next handful of Caucasian people that I meet where the best burger joints or American restaurants are within the first 5 minutes of introductory small talk...but that's just food for thought.
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Thought provoking post, Mar. I think people's intentions are innocent enough, but they don't think before speaking, as you pointed out. I've been asked on a few occasions where good Thai restaurants are since I'm married to a Thai. Fortunately, I have an answer (King of Thai Noodles on Park St.) and I leave it at that.
ReplyDeleteAmerica is such a unique country with so many ethnicities, cultures, nationalities and religions all trying to live in peace with one another. It's tricky trying to sort it all out and determine what's appropriate and what isn't as there are so many varying degrees. What's insulting to one person is overly PC to another.
There's no clear-cut path of propriety here and I think most folks, esp. in the Bay Area, have good intentions, even if the words out of their mouths are a little clunky sounding... that's just my 2 cents for the day. :)